The Journey

March 31, 2015

Change happens, we all know that. It's part of a journey. Having a new baby, getting married,  are all a journey in themselves.  However, one of the hardest journeys I've had in the past few months is breastfeeding.

Some people are lucky and everything works wonderfully for them. That was not the case with me. On the 9th of April, I will be able to say that I made it three months of (mostly) exclusively breastfeeding.

I made the decision to breastfeed bugs when I was pregnant. I had tried with Monkey, but only made it about a three months. It might have been a bit more but it wasn't very long that's for sure. Monkey had acid reflux, I was 20, when back to work, and didn't have a lot of support and when the first growth spurt hit I was done. My journey with Bugs has been completely different.  This is not to make other's feel bad, not by any means. Heck I gave in and gave Monkey formula and he is fine... in fact with his recent visit to the doctor for the stomach plague that ravaged the house, was only the third sick visit in his life! So I understand those that give the babies formula. I have been there.  One of the main reasons I wanted to breastfeed Bugs was because of the cost effective of it. I wanted to stay home. I really really wanted to stay home. But being on one income I knew was going to be hard. However, if I breastfed I knew it would help out tremendously not to mention the health benefits for Bugs.

I thought that it would be easy, wow I was in for a surprise. Let's start with the fact that I had a repeat C-Section. So that meant that my mobility was limited because,well... I was cut from one side to another. I had an iv in my left hand connected to fluids and pain medication (safe for breastfeeding). In my right hand I had a second IV (just incase they needed it... something the hospital required). I was cut with staples in my stomach, a catheter, and the weird leg compression things. Moving around sucked so bad. I felt like I was going to hurt the baby or that he was in a weird position. However the next day when I got most of it removed it got better and I thought hey this is great. I didn't know that his latch was wrong.

When I came home two days later I knew that I was having a hard time, but I didn't think much of it. My whole body was in pain from the surgeries (I had a double whammy... csection and a tubal) so my breast hurting wasn't a big deal. At least it wasn't until Bugs spit up a bit of blood. Immediately me and B freaked out. I started taking his temperature and B got on the phone with our moms. My mother, thank the lord for her, asked to see if I was bleeding...sure enough the nipple was. She talked me through the fact that the baby had swallowed the blood and that's what he spit up. She talked me though how to make it better and how to get him better latched. I did the best I could, but it was still hurting a lot.

A few days later the four of us gathered our stuff and went to my Nana's. B was going back to work, I still had my staples and on pain medicine (once for breastfeeding) so we were going there to have help with me. I felt like a giant baby during the whole process.  Anyway between my mother and Nana, who both breastfed they coached me and it got better until a growth spurt. The first growth spurt, I thought I was going to go crazy. Bugs wanted to eat for hours at a time, almost constantly. I even had to *try* giving him a little formula. Which didn't work out because he refused to eat it..but I tried. Eventully I healed and he got better with his latch.  However we still have our days that aren't great.

But we are making it, because I was determined too. I also had the help of my husband who still makes sure I'm comfortable when I feed, and that I have water. Which had made me realize having support is probably the best thing to have while trying to breast feed. It's having someone there to say you are doing good or helping you prop up pillows. I will say it is an awesome feeling, to know that I've accomplished three months of something so important to me as well.  It is a journey, I learn a little more about everyday.

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