Time

April 23, 2015


"Time passes quicker as you get older so enjoy it." Is a phrase I grew up hearing from the elders of the family. I would listen as they told stories of how summers used to seem forever long, and now a year would flash by in an instant. A few of them even stated how time went even faster as they watched their children grow. I didn't understand it then, but I do now.

When I was a child I can remember thinking that the school year would never end, and when it did that the summer was going to be here forever. Vacations seemed years long and days where I was so bored would be the death of me. I remember thinking how high school would never end, or how I would never get over a heartbreak. Looking back on it now, they are fleeting moments.

When I found out I was pregnant with Monkey, his pregnancy seemed to last forever. Then on the day he was born and I looked back on it; it was such a short time period in my life. The same goes for Bugs.  When Monkey was little, I'll admit I probably didn't "enjoy" him being little as much as I should. I was with him always but I was always wishing he would do something... roll over, walk, talk, learn to use the bathroom. I never stopped to just enjoy his slobbery kisses. It's something I vowed to do when Bugs was born because Monday I enrolled my baby in Pre-School.

We were getting ready to go to the school  and I was doing the check off: diapers, wipes, change of clothes, jacket for Monkey, his Nabi for when we went to Nana's afterwords, when Monkey comes into the living room. He looks up with me with his big blue eyes and I notice he has his backpack packed full of toys and his shoes are already on.

"I'm ready for school mom." He says and smiles. "My backpack ready... I packed toys. All big boys need a backpack for school."

I wanted to cry. He was ready. He is ready.  I told him he was doing a great job and loaded them up in the car. I filled out the necessary paperwork and got him registered. His heart was broken when I told him he couldn't stay.

"But I'm a big boy, Mom-Mom." (For some reason he doesn't say Momma... he calls me "Mom-mom".)

"I know you are, Monkey, but you can't stay today. They aren't ready for you yet. Let's go get lunch and we'll head on out to Nana's. "  With that he sighed and got in the car telling me what he wanted for lunch.

The truth is, the school is ready for him. He is ready for the school.  I'm not ready for it yet. The idea that he will no longer be with me during the day, he will no longer be my "baby" crushes me. I know it's a part of life, but it seems just yesterday I brought him home.  When I was a single mom he was the one thing that made me smile at the end of the day. Everything I did was for him, and we are extremely close because it was just me and him for a long time. He was my strength, and now here he is ready to start a new journey. I know I'll be okay, and I'll put on my brave face  his first day of school. I just wish somehow I could make this summer last forever. Monkey would still be at home and Bugs wouldn't get any bigger. Life does past much to quickly, especially when you have children, so remember to enjoy the moments. Even the ones that make you feel like your going to lose your mind, because those are the ones you look back on and miss.

Everyone's Failure. My Success.

April 7, 2015

"So when are you going back to work?" A question I have started to dread when I hear it. When we first made the decision to keep me home with the boys I was ecstatic... truthfully I still am, but it seems not everyone is.

When did being a stay at home mom become looked at as more of a failure then a success? I remember my mother staying home and thinking how cool it was. Other children wanted to be me so their moms could stay home. Now it seems times have changed. People expect you to make a lot of money, have the newest of everything or obviously you can't be happy.

With a three year old, and a newborn we decided it was much more cost effective to keep me home. I am nursing, using cloth diapers and daycare is crazy priced. So we were happy to stay home. Until I started seeing the look on peoples faces when I quickly reply with " I'm not going back, I'm staying home with the boys."

Its as if I am saying something terrible. Its because people believe those that stay at home are lazy, stupid, or something along those lines. But that isn't true. I made all As in highschool and college, graduated with my associates degree because I didn't want another. I was bored with it. I made the decision to leave and didn't look back. I'd also like to mention, I work more now being at home than I ever did at work. At home I never have a "lunch" or "break". I am always on go, always have to be ready for action....ready to clean up any messes that the boys can make.

Do I believe everyone should stay at home? No. If you want a career and being a mommy you go girl! I know you will do great, but don't judge us that don't want that. I've seen the looks,heard the tone of your voice when you try to hold back your judgement but I know its there.  I've talked to others and they've had the same thing happened to them. We need to come together and realize that people like different flavors. Being at home with my children, watching them grow, and having supper cooked when my husband gets home may sound 1950s but I assure you its not and its what I want. I wouldn't give this up for anything!

Women should stop judging others on parenting styles, job or no job, size and many of the other things we judge. We should come together, help each other out, praise each other and give advice.  Live your path and let others live there's. Just remember what you may see as a failure, may be their greatest success.


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