A Life Full of Regret - Guest Post

May 9, 2016

I love having guest bloggers! I love meeting people, and letting other's know about them as well. Today, I have Darci the owner of The Okayest Mom Blog. I am not sure how we found each other, but it was when I was first starting and she let me do my very first guest post!! So I am honored and so happy to bring her words to you! Be sure to read more about her down at the end.

Regret is defined as feeling sad, repentant, or disappointed over (something that has happened or been done, especially a loss or missed opportunity).

I use to buy into the saying "live life with no regrets".  I was under the assumption that I could live a perfect life where nothing I said would offend anyone and everything I did was exactly what I was suppose to do to fulfill my life's purpose.   As I've gotten older I've realized that's not only impossible but undesirable.  Regret is part of life.  It helps mold and shape us into who we are.  

Regret comes in many forms; words, actions, missed opportunities, bad decisions, fear, the list goes on and on.  Without regret valuable life lessons would just be moments in time that we forget and not monumental experience that guide and direct our future in hopes that history won't repeat itself.  Even then some lessons are harder to learn than others.   I can't even count the amount of times I've put my foot in my mouth, regretting each and every word that poured out.  Wanting to put it all back where it came from.

And what about all the things said with the intention to cut right to the core of someone's self worth.  Attacking the heart and mind of another because I felt that my anger and hurt deserved retribution.  Words have been some of my biggest regrets.  Not saying enough, saying too much, speaking at the wrong time, not sticking up for another, the moments are endless.  I capture many of these moment and go over them in my mind.  The story plays out with what I would say if I could do it all over again, but the reality is what's done is done.  There are no do-overs in life, only lessons.

Then there's the missed opportunities.  One of my biggest regrets happened the summer before I left for college.  I had the opportunity to volunteer as work crew for a Young Life camp.  It would've been an experience of a life time.  Young Life played a huge role in shaping my spiritual life.  My Young Life leaders poured into me throughout my high school years and camp had been a place I found refuge and peace.  It was a place I learned to not only trust the Lord through scripture but through adventure and new experiences.  It was the first time I learned that being a follower of Jesus wasn't just rules and regulations, but an opportunity to live life to the fullest.  Rather than filling out the application and sending it in I threw it in the trash.  Fear got the best of me.

I decided that I wasn't good enough to be chosen so why bother.  I will never know what could've been but one of the greatest lessons ever learned came from this.  When God calls you to do something, do it.  If you don't He will call another in your place.  The opportunity won't disappear or wait, but it will be given to another more willing than you.

And what about regrets related to bad choices, selfishness and fear?  My list of those is a mile long.  Labeled with lost relationships, consequences that cut deep and a feeling of loneliness and defeat.  In each of these moment, whether it was words, missed opportunities, selfishness or bad choices, the lessons have stuck with me.  I have experienced a life that is not always easy but worthwhile.  I have caused pain and been hurt.  I have asked for forgiveness and forgiven others.  I have cried over experiences that I should've taken and didn't and yet have rejoiced in the glory of taking a leap of faith.

We all have them.  Moments that we wish we could take back or do over.  Opportunities we wish we would've taken, words we should or should've said.  They are endless, constantly evolving causing us to evaluate and redirect certain aspects of our life.  Without them we wouldn't have mistakes or embarrassments.  Without them our messes could never be used as a message.  Redemption would never be played out to its fullest.  And all of life's lessons would be learned through the eyes of another and not our own.  Regrets don't define us, they help mold and shape us into who it is that God intends us to be.  Live life to the fullest.  Be bold, be brave, make mistakes and have regrets.  It is through many failures that many of the greatest inventions ever have been created.  Its not the defeat that defines us, its what we do after that makes all the difference.

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