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Heyy! DeAnna is a wife, boy mom, and boss lady. Wellness Transformation Educator. Motivational Coach.
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Why I Took My Husband's Last Name



There seems to be a controversy going on about whether or not a women should take her husband’s last name. Like many controversy’s today, this used to not even be a question-it was standard practice. The woman would take her husband’s last name without a thought, and no one thought anything about it, but today it appears it is not that easy.

There are many reasons why a woman may or may not take her husband’s name. I am not here to judge you. It just seems that in many social media aspects the idea of taking your husband’s last name is seen as a sign of being weak, or “just giving in to tradition”. I hope that if you are reading this post, and if you are wondering about if you should take his last name, that you remember that it is not a sign of being weak or anything like that. It is a personal choice. A choice that you have to make. I made my choice, and I am happy to have my husband’s last name. I wouldn’t change it for anything.


And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Genesis 2:18 NKJV 

I chose to take my husband’s last name. No, I did not keep a hyphen or make my maiden name my middle name or anything of that nature. I took my first and middle name deleted my maiden name and added his. Simple as that.  We live in the south, and here it is still pretty common to take your husband’s last name. I do know several people who have opted for other’s ways as well though.

As a Christian woman, I believe that when two people get married they are seen as one in the eyes of God. What better way to prove this oneness then by sharing the last name?  Marriage is a gift from God, so that man isn’t alone. We weren’t meant to be alone. We were meant to share our lives with the person that God sent for us. I can see people asking “Why couldn’t he take yours then?” Well in our situation… he was 38, and I was 23. He’s obviously has grown more attached to his. I had not created a “life”, so to speak, with my last name. I was not some famous person, nor did I have my own business at the time. I did not wish for him to take my last name. 

Yes I am well aware that when these traditions were set up, woman were seen as property and thus having the husband’s last name signified who she belonged too.  Am I his wife? You better believe it! Am I his property, no. There is a difference in being “Mrs. Him” and him having his ownership. I see being “Mrs. Him” as a half of a whole. He is “Mr. Him”. He is the male version. I am the woman version. That is what marriage means to me. When you become one, you are still two halves that make that whole. I wouldn’t have felt complete if we had different last names.
 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” Ephesians 5:31 NKJV

My father gave me away at our wedding. He walked me down the aisle and he gave me away. I know many that would say this is the exchange of ownership over me, but I prefer to look at it in a different manor. I am no one’s property. But until I wedded it was my father who protected me. When I was married it was a way to show, “Hey… it’s your job to protect and take care of her now.”  I love it. I love knowing that someone is out there that will help me fight my battles, and be there for me even if I didn’t win them. It’s nice knowing that there is someone who loves and adores me, and is always standing in my corner. 

When we became married, we both left our families and became one of our own.  I see a last name as a sign of respect for that reason as well. We are instructed to respect our parents, and thus have our family last name. When we become married, we are to respect our husbands- thus having his last name is a sign of respect towards him. We are representing him, his legacy, and his heritage. OUr husband's choose us  to represent it, and it is not something that should be taken lightly. 

Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5: 33 
No, I didn’t stop being who I was. A popular reason not to take your husband’s last name is that the woman is her own person.  If you knew me in an everyday basis you would know that I am defiantly my own person. Just because I took his last name, does not mean that I threw my hopes, dreams, personality and everything out the window. I am still a grown woman. I still make my own decisions for myself. I did not stop being who I was, simply because of his last name. Having his last name, helped me become who I am.  It didn't take away anything. 

My final reason for truly wanting his last name was I wanted our children to have our last name. We have two boys together. When I would think about having a family, I wanted us to all share the same last name. It is what would root us together, even in tough times. We would all remember that we are a family. Yes, love and blood keeps us together too, but sometimes we need a in your face reminder.  I know some people hyphenate their names for their children, and if you want to then that's good for you! But for me, hyphens aren't my thing. 

I’m probably old fashioned, and traditional. That’s okay with me. There is something to be said about the past generations and how there marriages were much stronger then many today.  Once again, I’m not saying that the road I took is best for everyone, but for my family it was the right step.


Did you take your husband’s last name? Why or why not? Did you do it for religious reasons,traditional purposes or something else? Let me know in the comments.

2 comments

  1. I did not take my husband's last name. With my ex-husband hyphenated. I wouldn't change my first name, why would I change my last name? I was 37 when I remarried. There was no reason to change it. It doesn't mean we're less married. It doesn't mean we aren't one. It just means I didn't have to take HIS name to prove anything. As you wrote - to each their own. As Heather Wilson I survived cancer three times, won awards, traveled the world and grew a career. I am a kick butt person - as Heather Wilson. My husband met, grew into Love with, proposed to - Heather Wilson. The woman who walked up the aisle - Heather Wilson. That didn't change. I AM Heather Wilson and that's why I didn't change my name.

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    Replies
    1. Hi Heather!
      Thank you for stopping by! Yes ma'am, you would be one of those reasons why I wouldn't change the name either. You are that name! I hadn't really had a life before I married and thus didn't feel that I was that name. I do feel that I am "me" now. With that said, I also have made an agreement that should something happen to my husband or what have you and for whatever reason we aren't together, I will never change my last name again. Mainly because my kiddos have this name. lol. You are an amazing woman that survived not once but three times! That is amazing. This whole story is an amazing reason to not change it!

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