3 Things To Remember During Your Next Marital Argument

June 23, 2016

Do you always like your husband? Let’s be honest here, no we don’t. I always love and respect my husband, but that doesn’t mean that I always like him. Like my grandmother says, “Some days I just want to hit him in the head with a frying pan.”

That is life. God never promised that our life would be simple, or easy. People aren’t perfect either. I wish I could say that my house was perfectly clean, my kids completely perfect, and that when my husband came home I was wearing pearls, high heels, and dressed to a tee with a fantastic 5 course meal waiting for him. But it doesn’t happen that way.

Most days, he comes home to me in yoga pants, hair pulled up, and the children (half dressed) destroying quicker than I can pick up.  I’m sure there are days, when he would like to hit me with a frying pan. But that is a part of marriage. Marriage can be messy, ugly, bittersweet, and can sometimes really hurt your feelings.  So here are a three things to pray about the next time you find yourself in the mist of an argument.

The Tongue Shouldn’t Run Free: I will be the first one to admit that I have a hard time with this one. I want to have the last word, I don’t like to be proven wrong, but it is something that I am always trying to work on. It is not what God wants from me, nor is it what my husband deserves. So many people say things out of anger, but the problem with words is that once they are spoken; you can’t take them back. They are out there, in the open, and like a big elephant in the room they will stay there.

I’m not saying that you should withhold your feelings, no. That is not healthy. However I am saying to consider the words that come out of your mouth before they leave, and cause damage. Phrases that come out simply to hurt your partner are not healthy or helpful.  The next time you find yourself in an argument, try to watch what you say and see how much quicker the argument ends.  It’s not always about being right, or having the last word. It is about your marriage, your partner, and your lives that will still go on even after the argument has ended.

“Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity.” Proverbs 21:23  

Always Respect Your Husband  I know so many people have problems with the words “submission” or “respect” for a husband. If I’m being honest, I did too. It wasn’t until I had a serious coffee break with Jesus before I got married and prayed that he showed me what he wanted from our marriage. The word respect always stuck out in every “pre-marital” literature I could get my hands on. It was the word that always stuck in my head when I read the scripture and asked him to show me his will. Respect, especially when you are mad, can be difficult. It isn’t always easy. And it certainly isn’t something that I always want to show, but I do try. 

“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” Ephesians 5:33
So what does this respect mean? Well, respect is defined as: "admire (someone or something) deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements" . As a wife, to me, it means simple things such as not running to every woman on the street and telling my marital problems too. It means dressing in a manor that is not to forward, and it defiantly means making sure that my husband’s hard work doesn’t go unnoticed and that I am thankful for what he does.

“Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as woman came from man, so also man is born of women. But everything comes from God.” 1 Corinthians 11:11

The Two Of You Are Not Separate: When you said “I Do”, you became one in the eyes of God. You are not a better species, and neither is he. At this time, you are now the exact same entity, and it’s best to remember that. I have heard many a tale of women whose “independent” minds would wonder into the directions of what they would do if they weren’t married. Don’t go there. Don’t let you mind wonder what you might do without your husband. He is apart of you, and you are apart of him. Instead wonder on ways to help your marriage get stronger, or think of your next date night. Don’t ever forget for a moment that you two are now one. 

When the argument is finished, your marriage will still be there. It may be stronger or more damaged than before. But it will still be there in some fashion, it is your actions that decide where it will be.

Marriage is a rough one, and in this world I think it is something so easily taken for granted or thrown aside. Arguments aren’t fun, but every marriage has them from time to time, it’s how you handle it that makes them better or worse. What is something you try to remind yourself when you are in the core of an argument with your husband?


  1. Respect is a big one. I find that, the longer I am married, the more challenging situations God provides for me to practice showing respect. :-)

    1. Respect is hard...it really is. I haven't been married all that long but I know what you mean! Thank you for coming by!

  2. These are some really good tips and I love that they have strong biblical backing! That's the best kind of advice.

    1. Thank you so much for stopping by! Thank you so much for your kind words.

  3. I could have used this a few days ago before such an argument! Great reminders, thank you.


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