Hey! DeAnna is a wife, boy mom, and boss lady. Wellness Transformation Educator. Happiness Coach. "Faith It 'Till You Make It!"
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One Very Important Secret To A Long Marriage

I’ve been able to talk to several older women in my life, and ask them for the information as to how they were able to keep their marriage going so strongly and for so long. Marriage’s today have an alarming rate of divorce, and if you sit and think about it for long enough it can really make you sad. It makes you scared to commit, for fear of failure.

We’ve all seen the viral Facebook stories of the old man that would still go to him and his wife’s favorite spot, even after she is gone. We’ve all seen the stories of how flowers are delivered to a gravesite, instead of her hands because it was something that he did every Valentine’s Day.  My Nana and Papa have something similar, neither of them have passed thankfully, but my Papa was a truck driver for most of their years married.  Now, these two don’t sleep in the same bed…or the same room for that matter (a matter of snoring) but each time before he would leave she would kiss him at the door and they would tell each other they loved them.  He no longer drives cross-country, but he does work everyday. Everyday they do the same routine.  She meets him at the door with a kiss, and an exchange of “I Love You”s. 

My point in all of this being, I think part of what makes a happy marriage is finding your “thing”. It may be a simple kiss before bedtime, hand holding every Sunday on your way to church, or it could be eating at the same restaurant every Thursday. Whatever it is, find it and cling to it. Do it, even when you are angry. I think this is something to help the mind remember the love, and the vows, that you share for each other.

My husband and I have our “thing”.  In our bed one or both children usually separate us. We can’t really “cuddle” most of the times, but we always make sure our feet touch. Sounds silly, believe me I know. But if I don’t put my feet on his, he will put his on mine. What makes this even funnier is that I dislike feet. Seriously feet make me cringe, but this works for us.  It even works when we are in an argument. I don’t particularly like the idea of going to bed angry, and I try real hard not to have this happen. However, we are all human and there are times that it has. However, even in the mist of a fight we always make sure to touch our feet as we go to bed. Soon after, the hearts soften and “I’m sorry” happens a lot quicker.  Why? I guess because it is an icebreaker… and sometimes that ice needs to be broken.

Feel free to share your stories in the comments below! Do you have a “thing” with your husband that you do everyday? Did your grandparents? Let me know!


  1. I love this! It's so important to take time to cultivate your relationship, even if it's with a simple routine. It's all about putting in the effort.

  2. Loved this post! So cute, and such great insight! I am determined to find our "thing" and start being more intentional in making it happen often! You totally rocked this post! <3

  3. This is so true. Little daily habits make a huge difference in the long run when it comes to relashionships.

  4. Find your thing...what great advice.Thanks!

  5. Those little moments are very important to fill in the gaps between the big stuff. Everything about marriage should be a celebration. We got married on Friday 13th. We go out to dinner and celebrate our Lucky Day!

  6. Nice work here! Every married couple needs that one thing that connects them no matter what. During the hard times it's the go to thing in the relationship.

  7. So sweet - it's the little simple things we do in a long term marriage that make a difference like you said!! 👍👍

  8. Today is my 23rd wedding anniversary. We met 32 years ago. Each week we go on a date. It is just one of the things we do to keep love alive.


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