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Hey! DeAnna is a wife, boy mom, and boss lady. Wellness Transformation Educator. Happiness Coach. "Faith It 'Till You Make It!"
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Daring To Hold Them Back


As a mother I want the very best for my children. I stay up late at night, praying that I am following the correct path is raising them. I make sure they aren’t couch potatoes, they at least like some sort of fruit or vegetable, and they aren’t allowed any caffeinated drinks other than sweet tea (I’m from the south… it’s in our blood). So when Monkey started having trouble in school last year, I started having a very hard time.

What do I mean by having trouble? Well it turns out his maturity level wasn’t ready for school yet. I didn’t know, and I was just following what I thought I was supposed to do. He had turned four in the later part of May before he started school. He was the youngest one in his class, with many of his classmates turning 5 that August. That is almost a year difference, and in kids years that is a very long time.


At the end of the year, his test scores were great. His teacher couldn’t speak enough about how his mind works differently than most kids his age, and that he is a lover of numbers. She always spoke of his kind heart, and the fact that he never liked anyone being upset. However, he still wasn’t great at circle time and his speech was still a bit behind (he started speech last year too, which I knew was going to happen), and he just was getting to where he didn’t like being at school.

She recommended that he stay another year in preschool. At first I was so shocked and stuck on what to do. You want the best for them, but you also don’t want to hold them back. Me and B had numerous conversations back and forth between ourselves and our family. We had so many questions.
Would he get bored if he repeated? Would a few months of summer really make a difference? If he went ahead to kindergarten would he be able to stay caught up?  Would he ever like school again?


After a lot of prayer, we decided that we should hold him back one more year. It was decided that sometimes to do the best for your children is to prevent them from advancing. You don’t let a new walking toddler walk around the edge of a cliff, even though he really wants too.  You also wouldn’t let a child grab something out of the oven because he wanted to cook. Oh no, sometimes daring to keep them back is doing the best thing for them.


Fast forward to this year. He started school this past week, and his teacher says she can already tell huge differences in the way that he acts! Yes, I know that it is still very early but just the differences in how he was ready to go to school this year is huge. His teacher says that he loves helping, his speech has improved so much, and his overall maturity level has risen since the ending of the last year.  He has also fallen in the “leftovers” from last year, and many of the kids will already be “older” because of their birthdays falling late.  He loves going to school again, and was so incredibly excited to start back I barely was able to get him to sleep the night before.  


I honestly feel that we were right in having him repeat pre-kindergarten. I truly believe this year is going to be so much better than last! I can see the happiness in his eyes again! I am so excited that we didn't let worry and fear get the best of us! I know God has big plans for my little man, and even though he may not be starting kindergarten this year- it will be for the best. Because once again, I believe, daring to hold them back is a way of doing what is best for them! 










19 comments

  1. Great job doing the best for him! Who knew parenting would be so hard?!?

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    1. Thank you! There really should be a manual for parents :D

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  2. everyone learns at a different pace. letting them do so makes the experience more enjoyable and memorable for everyone! I'm excited you did

    Marie
    @spreadingJOY
    spreading-joy.org

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  3. I hope this works out in your favor! Prayers that he has a great year in school!

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  4. That's such a hard decision to make, but it sounds like you made the right one. It seems our culture wants to push kids forward, get them ahead as soon as possible. Sometimes the wisest thing we can do is slow them down a bit.

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  5. I am so happy that you... "didn't let worry and fear get the best of us!" Sometimes doing the best for our children seems counter-intuitive to what we think we want for them. I'm so grateful to God for all the times He intervened and did what He knows is best for my kids. There's so much peer-pressure, even among parents, to make sure that our kids keep up or get ahead. Your son is so very blessed to have godly parents!

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    1. Thank you so much! We are pretty lucky to have him!

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  6. Wow..that must have been a very difficult decision for you and your husband. But I am so glad that your son is bright and doing well in his class.

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  7. Being a parent is really hard but at the same way, we are still happy taking care of them. :) Thank you for sharing.

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  8. It sounds like you made the very best decision for him. It's amazing how much just one year can make a difference!

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  9. Sometimes the best for our kids isn't what we thought it would be, and that's okay. I'm glad you made the right decision and did what you thought would do him good. I hope he has a great year this year. He sounds like an amazing little fella!

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    1. Thank you so much!! He is a little snot sometimes, but I wouldn't have him any other way!

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  10. Sometime as a mother, I just need to read posts like this to make me realise that we are not super human. You are doing the best you can do and I'm really glad you made the right decision

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  11. Expectations can always lead to a fair amount of stress and confusion. It seems like you made the best decision for your child and that's all that matters!

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  12. You took a great decision of repeating a year again for your kid! Sometimes as parents, one needs to make tough choices!

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  13. I still don't have a child of my own, but I agree with your decision that it's better for him to become more mature so he can fully enjoy his schooling. Besides that, it's a good time to cherish his presence longer. Once he becomes a kid, he'll be too busy with his assignments and hanging out with friends. -Me-An Clemente of http://yogoandcream.com

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  14. wishing you all of the best, raising your kid, I am sure you will always make the decisions that will be in his best interest, even if they are hard. Blessings!

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  15. I think you did the right thing by holding him back and look how far he has progressed already. Well done you xxx

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  16. I agree with you. Daring to hold them back, is helping them in the long run. I believe that we have to show them, at a young age, that any and everything takes time and patience. Kudos to you for seeing the bigger picture. #OurChildrenAreOurFuture ;)

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