Five Ways to Keep a Marriage Strong

February 15, 2016

Relationships are hard. Marriage is even harder. Adding children into the mix, is even more difficult. It is very important for those with and without children to make sure that they are taking time to build their relationship with their significant other. How many times have I heard, “We talk all the time, but we don’t communicate. I just don’t feel connected to them anymore”? I wanted to explore ways that a couple can get reconnected even after the children are there.

As a mom to three roaming the house, I know how hard it is. My children are all boys and are 7, 4, and 1. The youngest still sleeps in our room and is not sleeping through the night. Apparently, that gene runs strong in the family. I often find myself just ready to crash out when my husband gets home from work. But as most moms, I don’t. I continue on. There are still meals to be made, baths to be had, and stories to read. So I understand completely that after the children are in bed the last thing you want to do is try to make sure your significant other is “taken care of”. After all they are grown adults right? Wrong.

A relationship is always developing. It can either build up, or come crashing down with the choices that are made from the people that are in it. That’s the simple truth of it. You can’t ignore the relationship and think that it will stand on its own. After all, a house left vacant for years will eventually fall and crumble. So what can we do?

  1. Go to bed at the same time: I know, I know. This seems strange, or even silly. What can going to bed have anything to do with keeping a relationship strong? A lot actually. The kids have all your free time, they roam the house, and make the messes. When they finally go to bed, you want “you” time right? Well that’s fine. I myself have a set aside thirty minutes a night of things that are just for myself. I used to stay up late, my husband going to bed early. But one night, I decided I wasn’t going to anymore. I went to bed with him, at the same time. It’s amazing the amount of pillow talk that can happen when this happens. You can cuddle, even if you don’t feel like talking. This is all about feeling that someone is there with you, for you, and to support you. It’s a way to show them, I’m still here and I still love you.

  2. Make one night a month just for the two of you: You can change this as you will. You might be able to get two weekends, one night, or just a few hours. Either way, do it. Every month. It’s important to get away from the children for a few moments, to help learn about each other. People are always changing, take these moments to really talk and see how life is going for your partner. See if there is anything you can do to help lighten their load, or maybe just do something that the two of you have been planning for a while.

  3. Get the kid’s involved: Did you just read that right? This is supposed to be about getting you and your partner together, not your kids. Some people just can’t get away. I understand. So one of my favorite ideas was when I had the boys pretend to be waiters and the chief. We had a dinner that was bologna sandwiches, apples, Pringles, and apple juice to candle light dinner once because of this. But it was a nice way to get to laugh with my husband and enjoy our time together, and the boys stayed busy too.

  4. Touch each other: I don’t know how many times, my stress has been relieved when my husband would come up and just make me stop what I was doing and hug me. Just hug me. Touching is crucial in my opinion to a relationship. If you are on the couch scoot over and snuggle, or simple hold hands. The small amount will go a long way in regards to making each other feel complete.

  5. Pray for each other: Praying for each other, and your relationship can help out in so many ways. Prayer can fix problems before they even become a problem. While praying, don’t just pray for your spouse, pray for yourself. Pray so that you can be a better wife or husband.

Relationships aren’t easy, and they take a lot of work. A few simple steps in your routine can help out a lot. What are some of the things that you and your spouse do that help strengthen the relationship?

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  1. This is beautiful! My husband and I have always focused on making each other a priority. We always go to bed together and have started praying together before bed. It has really brought us closer.

  2. I am getting married this fall and I truly believe what makes our relationship work (aside from us being extremely quirky and pretty much the same person, just different genders lol) is our communication. When he has things on his mind, he knows I am ALWAYS here to listen, I want to listen... Regardless of what it might be (it could be something I don't necessarily WANT to hear, but I don't ever want him to think that he cannot talk to me).

  3. Your relationship sounds a lot like mine, we make sure that communication is always there and important. Congratulations on getting married! What day are you saying I Do? We said yes on Aug 7.2014:)

  4. I didn't believe in the power f going to bed together until I actually started trying it. I know a lot of friends (single) that laugh a bit at this idea, but it really does help our marriage get through rough patches because when you are both in a queen size bed, you better get over your differences lol

  5. He asked me to marry him on XMAS day 2015 :) and I think we plan on getting married November 12th?? TBD - we still need to pick a venue! ha ha! Once we do that, then we can really get this show rollin'!

  6. Oh how awesome! My husband proposed on Christmas too!!! He made me think all day that all he had gotten me was some mixing bowls haha

  7. Mine told me he just got me a damn white T SHIRT because I didn't give him ANY gift ideas! BAH HA HA AH AH!!! Oh men!

  8. Such good advice, thank you. We do go to bed together and try to have a day just for ourselves every once in a while.

  9. It bugs me so much when people underrate the importance of touch. Not even sexually, but just like you said. Hugging. Sitting close on the couch. Holding hands. If only people tried these simple things, they'd realize how much of a difference it makes over time! We are very "touchy" and both of us love the closeness it offers to our relationship. Honestly, I think it makes us emotionally closer as a couple! Also, amen to going to bed at the same time. I can count on one hand the times we went to bed separately. Ending your day together in bed is so precious. Great post!


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