My May-December Marriage

February 2, 2016

It has come to my attention that apparently I am in a May December Relationship. I wasn’t aware until someone told me. But if you are more then 11 years apart, you have one. May standing for the “spring of life”, and December meaning the “winter of life”. Which is really morbid and sad, but nonetheless I’ll add that to my list of labels for myself: mother, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, may December person…. Or something like that. I’ll have to work on it.

It’s true. My husband and I are 16 years apart. Yes, that means that when he was 16 and driving a car, I was being born. Yay me. Yes that means that when I was 23, I married a 39 year old. Yes that means a lot of strange looks, strange comments, and a lot of people who feel the need to tell me their opinions. That’s okay. Everyone has one. But I wanted to say a few things from my point of view, and let the world know a little more about how our marriage works.


Even in our group of “May –December Relationships” we aren’t the norm. Even at 39, he had never been married and his oldest (and only child) was 6. Making this both of our first (and only marriage). Monkey was 3. So when you add in buggy all of our boys are about 3 years apart, give or take. So that makes it easier for me to be a step mom because the child was so young. So those two things aren’t very normal in a long age gap, but that’s what it is for us. Here are a few things I am asked, and how I try to respond.

  1. “What will you do if he is sick, and you have to take care of him?” : This question, honestly irritates me to no end. At our wedding I said, “For richer or poorer. In sickness and in health.” I have never seen a loop hole in this. It doesn’t say, “In sickness until you get tired of me”. No, it is simple. I am here for better or worse. Just as he is for me. I could get in the car after writing this to go pick up groceries and get in a wreck, leaving me in a wheel chair or who knows what else. I wouldn’t want him to just jump up and run. The same thing goes for him. Honestly, he is healthier then I am most of the time. I started our marriage off with a c-section, and now probably looking at getting a knee surgery hopefully this year. You know how many times he’s been sick- probably 5, and only went to the doctor once. So this question just shows that you don’t understand what a marriage is.DSC_2854.jpg

  2. “Can’t you find someone your own age?”: Sure. I dated people my age, I dated people younger and I dated some in the “acceptable older age range”. But it didn’t work for one reason or another. Where they all bad people? Nope. But it wasn’t what God had in store for me. He had a perfect person for me, I just liked to ignore it. B chased me for a while before I would actually date him. When we first met, ages where never discussed and so it was a surprise to us both when we found out how much of a gap there was. It was never his intention to fall in love with someone my age either. So could we have “found” someone our age-yeap. Would it have been our soul mates like we are, Nope.

  3. “Do you even have anything in common?”: Nope. Nothing. I’m totally joking. I wouldn’t have married someone I had zero in common with. We listen to the same music, want the same things in life, watch the same tv shows. Except football. I don’t like football, don’t like to watch football, and don’t like to talk football-but I’m getting better. He also can’t stand “The Originnals” that is my guilty pleasure, so it’s a trade off. The main thing we have in common- I love to laugh and he is funny. He keeps me laughing everyday! Seriously, I think that is why I fell in love with him. Looks fade. Age fades. But a personality and someone that can make you laugh doesn’t.12592650_10207503228511856_2481748237273782091_n

  4. “He’s old enough to be your dad.”: Okay, well that may possibly be the truth. But not really, my dad is 46. So B is still 5 years younger then him, but only a year younger then my mother, and the same age as my stepmother. But to answer the questions-no it isn’t strange. He sees my parents as his in laws, and we often forget they are close in age. He respects them as any man would respect his in laws. I’ve been asked if I was his daughter, and we just laughed but that only happened once, more often then not I’m thought to be his sister.

  1. “What if you want more kids?”: I don’t. I even had my tubes tied after Buggy. Did his age play a part in my decision-yes some. But not a lot. I never wanted more then two kids, and now I have three haha. But honestly I made the decision myself. Many people will often ask about “What if something happens and y'all do split and you get with a younger man that does want kids?” Well- first off should that ever ever happen, I will make it known upfront that I can’t have children. So he would probably go on about his business if children were really in his plans of a future. But I don’t even like discussing those, because in our marriage divorce is not a joke or something we laugh at. We don't use the word, and never ever use it as a threat. 

  2. “What if he dies?” : We all die. Once again, not to repeat myself, but I could get in a car crash today, tomorrow, or next week and be with the Lord. We shouldn’t worry about death; I know where we are going when we die. If he does die before me, I’ll cross that bridge when we get there but for now we enjoy every day. We know we have many years together ahead of us.


Our age difference rarely comes up anymore between us. I don’t see him as some 41 year old. I see him as my teammate, my husband, my soul mate. I love when he can share his wisdom on things I know nothing about, and I love that I keep him young. We balance each other out fantastic and it’s not something I would change. In fact, I often told him if I would have met him when he was 20, we wouldn’t have been married because he wouldn’t have been the man he is know. He is a wonderful father to our children and I can’t wait to spend many more years with him. Age is a number, and some people harp on them- but I'm lucky to have found a man that was made for me- even if he was made a few years before me. Who am I to question God's handy work?

Are you in a May- December relationship? What are some things that you have encountered? What questions do you have about our age gap?


  1. This is such an interesting read! My husband and I are only six months apart, so I can't relate, but I have to agree that all those questions seem ridiculous. With all the unknowns in life, it would be foolish to not be with someone you love because of all the what-ifs.

  2. Thank you so much! I honestly need set out to be with someone so much older then I am! We met through mutual friends and after we became friends he came to help me an my grandmother do some maintenance, when he left that day my grandma said, "You will marry that man some day." I literally rolled my eyes and told her she was crazy! This was about two years before we were engaged haha. He was the first one I ever dated that was more then a few years (4 or less) then I was. But I have literally been asked all of those questions numerous times and it baffles me that people feel the need to ask it.

  3. I had never heard of a May-December marriage, but this is an interesting read. My husband and I are 2 years apart, so I can't relate to most of this, but the funny thing is I don't really understand why people would think your answers would be any different than a couple who are close in age. For example "what if he gets sick", I mean seriously, what does age have to do with this. I have known 20 year olds who have chronic illnesses! You can't help who you fall in love with and all that matters is that you are happy!

  4. I hadn't either until a friend of mine sent me a link about it haha. Yes you would not believe the amount of questions I have received about "what if he gets sick " or my personal favorite "what about when he gets old and probably does before you." seriously? Thank you so much for reading :)

  5. Wow! That's so insensitive!

  6. polkadotsandcurry2/11/16, 5:40 PM

    I never heard of May December marriage. Such an interesting read. What really matters in any marriage is love and understanding. If your partner can make your laugh, that's a bonus :))

  7. I have never heard of that expression "May-December relationship", and I have to agree with you, it is not only sad but it is also a way to label people. I hate that. Since everyone else have an oppinion here is mine:
    Me and my boyfriend are 1 year and a half apart. If I ever knew he was so young I've never had give him a chance, you know why? Because older people are a lot more mature, and that is something I highly appreciate. If you love your husband, age is just a number. My boyfriend is really mature for his age and even looks older. People often look at us in a bad way and I even got people asking me what I was doing with someone that older than me (he looks like he is 30 and I'm 21, not that big of a difference, right?
    I think that in your history the only thing that I think that I may have some trouble do is the tide tubes thing, but just because I'm not sure I would be so decided as you are, I don't even get my ears pierced, hehe.

    Don't listen to silly people and be happy.
    Much luck to your life. xx

  8. Haha I decided for my tubes to be tide because I don't want anymore children, and I know that for a fact! Haha. I am thrilled with the two (three when my stepson is here) kids, but I wouldn't want anymore. My husband is the opposite he looks younger and acts younger (for the most part). Age is a number, and I wouldn't have picked this path for myself but love doesn't care what your plans are haha

  9. Such a beautiful post. I am so glad to see you both having a beautiful relationship. Hope you both stay like this forever. My friend recently got married at one of event space and I am so joyous to see them both happy together.


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