Self Care is Not Selfish

August 23, 2018

I recently watched a video of someone declaring that self care and self love was a reason to be selfish. The feelings that washed over me while watching it was absolutely awful. SELF CARE IS NOT SELFISH.

Now, are there some people who probably use it to be selfish, sure... but there are also people who use the Bible for their own gains, and people who use charities in terrible ways too. You will always have that.

You can not take care of others, if your personal needs are not met. Believe me, I know. I've tried. I am a mom. My children, husband, and close family always get put before me in my "taken care of" line in my mind. That means I will go months on end at times, without taking a single break for myself. I will bend over backwards to be at appointments, making sure they are happy, and doing everything they need before I even consider doing something for myself. And do you know what happens when I do this. I GET BURNT OUT.

That's right, I'm not wonderwoman. I will find myself in a fit of anxiety that oils, medication, food nothing can fix. I will find myself losing sleep to help do what needs to be done for others. I find myself getting irritated at the kids for no real reason. I become hateful and the person that I don't like to be.

All because I didn't take time for myself.

I have found that when I do take care of myself, maybe 10-15 minutes of a facial mask, getting my nails done, or simply going to the gym I feel my cup back up and I am ready to help fill others.

You MUST take care of yourself before you can take care of others. Even on planes when they go over the safety precautions, you put your mask on before helping others.So you must take care of yourself if you plan to help others.

This may mean bi-weekly trips alone to get a massage, facial, the gym. It may also be just a quick 30 minute trip alone to your coffee shop of choice and drinking a beverage doing nothing. Whatever it is that makes you feel more you, is what you need to be doing.

Don't let anyone try to tell you that you are being selfish because you asked for a few moments alone. As a mom, I know people who have felt bad for asking for help or asking for a break. You can't do that. You want to be the best mom you can be, then take care of yourself.

You do what you need to do to be a better human.

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